Independent Pages

Our number-one band, Disturbed, releases their fifth album Asylum in August 2010. In two days (6/14) they will release the teaser song for the album, called “Another Way To Die”. On the fifteenth the song will be available on iTunes. I am seriously going to download that song. Every fan of Disturbed should too. I have been eagerly awaiting the release of this album since Indestructible came out! (2008) I seriously cannot wait to hear it. I mean, it’s called Asylum. From the band whose lead singer, a decade ago, first stepped onstage in a straightjacket an now is one of the best bands ever. Like I’ve said before to those of you who disagree with that statement- liberate your mind and don’t read my reviews of Disturbed. But anyway, I think now is the time to thank my friends who introduced me to Disturbed -coughcoughWolvenAngelcoughLawly-. Thank you so frigging much!!!
And that’s my headliner news for today. Enjoy.

This has been Kimiri Moon.

School has ended. The time has come for every kid to ask themselves- WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO FOR THE NEXT SEVENTY-FIVE DAYS?
The freedom of summer also comes with the tedious, repetitive, mindless boredom. With all this free time, what are we supposed to do with it? Most of it is spent either in fun times or remission, depending on your social status. My social status is like nil, so remission is my usual route. Seventy-five days cooped up in a house- fun, isn’t it?
So I ask you all- HELP ME. Please find something a little loser like me can do with her summer, before I go crazy. Please, for my sanity, for my health, help me! Texting only goes so far, especially when your closest friends are off enjoying their summer. But that’s beside the point. This is a desperate plea before I turn desperate! -lol-

So if you all out there truly love me, save me from the bottomless pit of boredom that is summer!

This has been Kimiri Moon.

     5.  Ben the three-legged chicken from hell will bring back disco and all the world’s polyester suits will burst into flame, burning the world to a nice crisp.  -Kimiri Moon

    4. Everyone sees huge credits rolling in the sky, then The End in gigantic letters. The last thing you register is the clicking of the film reel… -RuneQueen

   3. Your girlfriend says, “No, Honey, I don’t feel like shopping today.” -Cage

   2.  Hannah Montana discovers the Fountain of Youth and never dies. Lord save us all! -HaterGurl

   1.  The world stops spinning on account of an extra-fast spin cycle. -Pittzburg

   10. Never fix that leaky faucet. Eventually, like compound interest, it will deplete our water supply and bring about the end of  the world. Drip… drip…

drip…

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 1.5

    9.  Let your lawn get so overgrown that evolution speeds up and monsters spawn from its jungle-like territory, willing to obey your every command. Lead them into Armageddon!!!!

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 3

   8. Under ANY circumstances DO NOT CHANGE THE COFFEE POT AT WORK. Take the last drop just as one of your co-workers walks in and swiftly exit the room. They will be so bent on revenge against you they’ll cook up some ridiculous scheme to undermine you that will backfire, destroying the world while you watch and sip your coffee.

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 4

   7. Build a time machine and send all  your garbage to everyone you hate in the future- and I mean ALL of it. >:^)

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 5

   6. Become a Mailman and mix up all the mail into the different slots, so that Aunt Bedielia gets some new lawn clippers and John Deere receives a hand-knit baby bootie set. This is very annoying at Christmas and birthdays.

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 6.5

   5. Raise cows on a ranch and train them to trample animal rights activists to death. How’s that for irony, GreenPeace!!!

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 7

   4. Okay, there has to be nuclear things in here somewhere. So. Take a nuke and bomb Antarctica. That’ll screw with the government so much…! (…Teach them to ignore me!!!!…)

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 8

   3. Total existence failure. You have no life and are so depressed that you give up on the cure for cancer and shut your lab down. If you would have waited another 24 hours you would have found it and become an instant trillionaire.

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 9

   2. Become a florist and only send people the only flower that they are allergic to. 

Destruction-O-Meter Rating: 9.5

  And the number one way to destroy the world?

  1. Make a list of the top ten ways to do anything.

   -Kimiri Moon